


We'll Rise Up

by FallingLikeThis



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Acceptance, Alternate Universe - Religious, Angst, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Fluff, Forced Outing, Homophobia, M/M, Musical Director Harry, No Smut, Pastor Louis, Pastor Payne, Religion, Self-Acceptance, Self-Doubt, but it's not a huge focal point, if that's all you're reading for you're going to be disappointed, this is angsty combined with all sorts of warm fuzzies, youth ministry
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-26
Updated: 2017-10-26
Packaged: 2019-01-23 14:41:14
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 18,696
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12509716
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FallingLikeThis/pseuds/FallingLikeThis
Summary: “So,” Liam begins with a smile, “you were the associate pastor at your last church?”“Yes,” Louis can already feel himself scrunching down in his seat, shrinking against even the reminder of the church he was forced from.“Was that a good experience for you?” Liam steeples his hands in front of him as he leans his elbows on the desk in interest.“It was for a while but, to be honest, things ended rather badly,” Louis leans forward too, he needs to get this out and he wants to tell Liam everything, have everything on the table.Leaning forward even more, Liam seems to be looking for the same thing, “What happened?”Louis can feel the trembles in his hands again, so he sits on them, biting his lip before admitting, “They found out I’m gay.”In the hallway, there’s a terribly loud thump and then a grunt of pain and Louis twists around to see Harry, sprawled out on the ground just outside the doorway.OrLouis is a Pastor with no church and a heart filled with uncertainty. Pastor Payne is more than willing to give Louis a new place to work, but it's Music Director Harry that helps him rebuild his faith.





	We'll Rise Up

**Author's Note:**

  * For [dimpled_halo](https://archiveofourown.org/users/dimpled_halo/gifts).



> Artwork and [playlist](https://open.spotify.com/user/mrsjackylopez/playlist/42pNAH8jkQTp5XbOJHOUeK) by the ever-wonderful [Jacky](https://dimpled-halo.tumblr.com/). I've never felt more fulfilled when writing a fic. I hope this is as wonderful to read as it was to write.
> 
> Special Thank-yous to [Michelle](http://all-these-larrythings.tumblr.com/),[Brittany](http://haloeverlasting.tumblr.com/), and [Addy](http://tvshows-addict.tumblr.com/) for making this fic a million times better. And to [Tris](http://hazzabooween.tumblr.com/) for listening to my freakouts and keeping me motivated.

Louis stands in front of the giant double doors of Holy Spirit Church breathing in and out slowly, trying not to let his nerves get the better of him. He can feel his hands shaking a little. After what happened at his last church, he thinks a little bit of nerves are warranted but he desperately hopes he’s wrong. When he’d spoken to Pastor Payne on the phone, he’d gotten the impression that things would be better here, that people were more open and accepting in a big city. Not that he’d told the Pastor  _ everything _ . Everything felt a little too heavy to get into over the phone.

A group of people walk around Louis where he’s stood on the sidewalk, breaking his stare. No one says anything as they jostle him and continue on. He’s not used to the crowds or the rudeness. His home town was a small place with a population of maybe 500 people and no one was openly rude. At least, not until they’d found out he was gay.

Louis feels his anxiety rising just thinking about his home town. He hadn’t actually tried to hide his sexuality but there weren’t a lot of other openly gay men in a town that small. And to think, Louis’ whole life fell apart because he had left his phone in the wrong place at the wrong time. He knew people were nosey but he hadn’t believed someone would actually snoop through his phone and, finding texts from an old boyfriend, out him to the whole town. Being an associate pastor at the church, Louis thought for sure that even the people who were opposed to homosexuality would still accept him. He’d prayed for all of them, touching their lives and helping them find a little light even in their darkest moments, helped them find their faith when they thought they’d lost it. He was still that person, being gay shouldn’t have changed what his actions said about him as a person, but apparently, his homosexuality had overshadowed all of it. He’d been booted from the church and basically ostracized by the rest of the town.

Louis looks around himself now, in a big city where he can have a bit of the anonymity that small town life never afforded him. And yet, he misses the community aspect of small town life, having people to rally around him. He’s out of his comfort zone here, unsure of his footing, unsure if he’s ready to put himself out there again.

Louis brings his gaze back to the door of the church and tries to ignore the flood of people  around him and force one foot in front of the other. It’s not working.

“Are you okay?” A voice asks next to him.

Louis turns. He finds himself looking into green eyes that shine with concern. Louis doesn’t know how to answer. He  _ is _ okay, but he’s also… not. It’s complicated, and he’s sure this kind stranger wasn’t really signing up to listen to his problems, especially not while holding a large box in his arms that Louis is just now noticing.

“It’s just, you’ve been standing there for a while,” the man says, raising a leg to rest the box on his knee while he sweeps his long, curly hair out of his face with one hand and then adjusts his hold. “If you don’t want to go in alone, I’m happy to walk with you.”

“Um,” Louis blinks, takes a moment to steady his trembling hands. “Yeah, sure. Thank you.”

A warm smile greets him when he looks back at the stranger and he’s not sure why but it melts away a little of Louis’ anxiety, makes him believe a little that things might be okay here. “I’m Harry,” the man tells him. “I’d offer to shake hands but…” he trails off, nodding down at the box in his arms.

“Oh yeah, it’s fine,” Louis says, leading the way up to the church and opening the door for Harry. “I’m Louis.”

“Thank you, Louis,” Harry says as he passes and Louis has no idea how someone can suffuse so much sincerity into their tone for such a small gesture. It’s nice, and Louis feels a bit more of his apprehension at being here slipping away.

Harry stops once he’s through the door, waiting for Louis to follow him in.

As he enters, Louis studies the building, taking in the granite floors and the domed ceiling of the foyer. It’s kind of majestic, a place where it wouldn’t be difficult for Louis to believe that miracles are possible. He wonders if the sanctuary is this amazing.

“Do you want me to go into the sanctuary with you? I can put this in my office and be right back,” Harry offers, shifting the box again. It must be heavy.

“ _ Your _ office?” Louis asks, suddenly giving the man another look. “Are you Pastor Payne?”

Harry laughs and it’s a beautiful sound. One that echoes through the foyer. “Pastor Payne sounds a little severe, but no, I’m not Liam. I’m just the music director here.”

“Oh,” Louis’ disappointment is palpable. He’d let himself get excited at the prospect that this might be the man responsible for his being here. He likes Harry, he seems genuine and wholesome.

“I can try to find the pastor for you if you’re looking for spiritual guidance,” Harry says so earnestly, Louis is almost sorry that that’s not his purpose here.

“I’m not,” Louis tells him with a wince but the moment the words are out of his mouth, Louis knows they’re wrong. They ring false and Harry must hear it because, while he nods at Louis’ words, something cautious shines in his eyes. It makes Louis feel like a skittish animal he’s trying not to frighten. Maybe he does need some guidance, his past coming back to haunt his thoughts until he can shake them all away again. He takes a breath, rolls his shoulders and straightens his back, standing tall. “I’m actually here about the youth pastor position.”

“Oh!” Harry looks cautiously optimistic at the announcement. “That’s wonderful! Uh, just let me get rid of this box and I’ll help you find Liam.”

“Yeah, by all means,” Louis answers, aware that Harry’s been holding this giant box for far too long. He follows behind as Harry ducks into a hallway. “What’s in there, if you don’t mind me asking?” Apparently, you can take the man out of the small town…

“Sheet music, actually,” Harry says with a chuckle. “It’s heavier than it sounds.”

“I don’t doubt it,” Louis agrees, halting when Harry stops in front of a door.

_ Harry Styles, Music Director, _ the placard on the door announces.

“Here, let me,” Louis steps up to it, twisting the knob and pushing the door inward.

“Thank you,” Harry drops the box just inside the door and turns to Louis with a grin. “I’m free for that handshake now.”

When he takes the hand Harry offers to shake it, Louis smiles back. It’s a little sweaty but not enough to be gross and Louis can’t help but notice how Harry’s large hand envelopes his smaller one. For one brief, silly moment, it almost makes him feel…  _ safe _ .

“Well, let’s see what Liam’s up to, shall we?” Harry breaks into Louis’ thoughts, taking back his hand when Louis releases it.  _ Had he held it too long? Did he make things awkward? _ He can’t tell because Harry’s turning and heading in the opposite direction. He should probably follow.

Louis catches up quickly and Harry’s already asking him a question but he hasn’t heard it. He’s been too busy freaking out, wondering if he’s already outed himself to the other man and then wondering if it’s going to be a problem. “I’m sorry, what were you asking?”

Harry looks over at Louis walking next to him and there’s still a softness to his gaze that Louis wouldn’t expect if he’d been discovered. Maybe he  _ hasn’t _ done anything to give himself away. “I just asked if you were from around here.”

“Oh, um not here, exactly,” Louis answers with a hard swallow. “I lived in a really small town that’s just a few hours from here.”

“Small town life,” Harry muses taking a turn down another hallway. This place is a freaking maze, Louis is totally going to get lost at some point. “What was that like?”

“Small,” Louis answers quietly. Honestly, this is the last thing he wants to be talking about. Something in his tone must give this away, because Harry’s giving him that  _ look _ again - the wary one, like he’s walking through a minefield. Or maybe Harry’s just good at reading people.

“Sorry,” Harry tells him as he slows to a stop, reaching out to put a hand on Louis’ arm. He obviously knows he’s touched on something painful but he can’t possibly know what.

Louis shrugs and gives Harry a sad smile. “I’m here now, so…”

“Harry, is that you?” A voice calls just before a man walks out of a room a little farther down the hallway.

“Liam, just the man we were looking for,” Harry greets the new addition with a smile. “This is Louis. He’s here about the youth pastor position.” Harry looks at Louis when he introduces him, a smile on his face that makes Louis feel warm all over. He looks proud or something, like he recruited Louis himself. It’s cute.

Louis looks away. He can’t afford to find Harry cute. He looks at Liam instead, he’s smiling at Louis too, and while objectively he’s a very attractive man, he’s not giving Louis any kind of  _ feelings _ .

“Louis Tomlinson, right?” Liam asks, reaching his hand out for Louis to shake and he does, gratefully.

“Pastor Payne,” Louis returns with a nod.

“Oh, you can just call me Liam,” the Pastor laughs. “Would you like to have a seat in my office and we can discuss the position.”

“Yes, thank you,” Louis answers, stepping past Liam when he gestures back to the office he came out of. He stops before he can get too far and turns back around. “Thank you, Harry.”

“Anytime, Louis,” Harry tells him with a grin. “And good luck! Not that I think you’ll need it.”

“Thanks, Harry,” Liam pats Harry on the shoulder and follows Louis to his office, trailing in behind him and moving to sit behind an impressive mahogany desk while Louis sits in the fancy leather armchair in front of it. “So,” Liam begins with a smile, “you were the associate pastor at your last church?”

“Yes,” Louis can already feel himself scrunching down in his seat, shrinking against even the reminder of the church he was forced from.

“Was that a good experience for you?” Liam steeples his hands in front of him as he leans his elbows on the desk in interest.

“It was for a while but, to be honest, things ended rather badly,” Louis leans forward too, he needs to get this out and he wants to tell Liam everything, have everything on the table.

Leaning forward even more, Liam seems to be looking for the same thing, “What happened?”

Louis can feel the trembles in his hands again, so he sits on them, biting his lip before admitting, “They found out I’m gay.”

In the hallway, there’s a terribly loud thump and then a grunt of pain and Louis twists around to see Harry, sprawled out on the ground just outside the doorway.

“I’m okay,” Harry says through a wince as he lifts himself up. “I just dropped a box on my foot, and then tripped over it.”

“Harry, what were you doing?” Liam asks, rushing over to help Harry up while Louis rises from his chair but otherwise stays glued in place.  _ Did Harry hear that? Is he disgusted too _ ? Louis stares, feeling his stomach start to crawl with apprehension.

“I was trying to take the donations from the food drive to the van to deliver to the Outreach Center. Niall was going to go ahead and take them over. I’m sorry, I’m such a klutz,” he says laughing as his gaze seeks out Louis. He doesn’t  _ seem _ repulsed. He doesn’t seem like anything but the friendly guy Louis met outside. Louis feels a surge of relief as he finally moves to help Harry and Liam pick up spilled cans and boxes of non-perishables.

Once they’ve gathered everything and Harry is firmly gripping the box in his arms, Louis feels his nerves slowly ebbing back into focus. They were in the middle of a pretty heavy conversation when Harry fell and Louis knows they have to get back to it eventually. He’s kind of dreading it, having to work the courage up again to get the words out.

“Thanks,” Harry tells them, head ducked in embarrassment. “Sorry for interrupting your meeting. I’ll try to keep better control of my limbs.” He directs a shy smile at Louis, embarrassed, yes, but also able to see the humor in his fall. Louis likes that he doesn’t take himself too seriously. It makes Louis feel like maybe he needs to lighten up too, like it’s  _ okay _ if he does.

Harry nods to them as he hurries away with the box of food and Liam watches him go, shaking his head in amusement. He sighs once Harry is out of sight and turns to Louis again. “Well,” he gestures back to his office. “Shall we?”

“Oh, right,” Louis nods and heads back into his chair. He sits, shifting as Liam takes his own seat again, and then shifts once more. He can’t seem to get comfortable.

Liam seems to sense his discomfort and instead of making Louis speak first, he dives right in, ripping off the band-aid so to speak.

“They kicked you out for being gay at your last church?” Liam asks, words feeling harsh even though his tone is kind.

Louis nods silently in answer, eyes on the front edge of Liam’s desk. If he focuses on something else, maybe he’ll get through this okay.

Liam tilts his head to the side, studying Louis. Louis can feel his gaze, the way Liam is considering him is like an anvil floating over his head, waiting to drop.  _ This is going to hurt _ , Louis thinks.

“Were you trying to hide it?” Liam asks.

The question is unexpected and Louis looks up to gauge his facial expression. He’s just waiting, watching Louis patiently, and Louis sees no judgement in his caring, brown eyes.

“No. I mean, not for the purpose of keeping my own sexuality hidden,” Louis tells him, picking at his fingernails. “It was a small town, there weren’t exactly a lot of options when it came to dating. I’d… had a boyfriend before but he wasn’t ready to be out so we didn’t go out a lot. And then we broke up so my love life wasn’t even an issue anymore. At least, I didn’t think so.”

“Okay,” Liam nods without pressing further, he clasps his hands together over the top of his desk and addresses Louis, face serious, eyes utterly sincere. “That’s not going to be a problem here, Louis. Here you will be accepted just as you are. You’ll be respected here as a valued member of our family. No one is going to treat you differently for who you love, I won’t allow it. None of us will, I promise you.”

Louis bites his lip and fights the tears that threaten to fall at Liam’s compassionate speech. He knows he’s failed at holding back the tide when he feels a tear slip down his cheek but he doesn’t move to wipe it away, not even when another tear follows in its wake. He’s not sure how to deal with the emotions he’s feeling, no one besides his family has ever made him feel so completely okay with being who he is, especially not after having just met him. “Thank you,” he says softly, because he doesn’t think he can manage anything more, at least not without breaking down completely.

Liam simply smiles at him and passes him a box of tissue that Louis takes gingerly, pulling out a tissue and wiping at his cheeks. It’s only once he’s done, Liam’s words repeating in his mind as he tries to make a lasting memory of them, that he realizes exactly what Liam has just told him. “Wait, does that mean—? Am I hired?”

Liam’s smile grows, widening and making his eyes squinty with mirth. “You are. I think you’d be a great leader for our youth ministry. I knew it when we spoke on the phone the other day and you spoke of your siblings with such affection and respect. But I’m even more convinced of it now,” Liam says, rising from his seat and rounding the desk to stand in front of it, leaning back on it. “You’re a stronger man than most, Louis. A lot of people would have let what happened to you affect their faith, push them away from it. But you didn’t do that. You actively went searching for the new path that God set you on. And I think you’ve found it here at Holy Spirit. These kids need someone like you to look up to. I’m glad to have you in our family.”

Liam holds his hand out for Louis to shake and Louis stands to accept it. Is it possible? Has he found a home again? The light in Liam’s eyes says yes, and more than anything, Louis wants to believe it.  

“Thank you so much,” he breathes, closing his eyes and sending a brief, silent prayer of thanks to the heavens.

After sending Louis another bright smile, Liam moves to one of the filing cabinets that line the far wall of his office. He opens a drawer and starts rummaging around. “Are you staying somewhere in town?”

“Um,” Louis swallows. Upon leaving his old town, he’d driven straight to the church in a Uhaul with all of his things. He didn’t think to stop anywhere and rent a room,especially since he wasn’t sure he was going to be hired. “I came straight here. I haven’t really thought about where I’m staying.”

“Oh! Excellent. No need then,” Liam turns his head to look at Louis, excitement written all over his face but a second later he’s turning back to keep searching until he finds what he’s looking for. “Aha!” He shouts, whipping out a manila envelope. He holds it out to Louis. “As a pastor here at Holy Spirit Church, you’re provided living accommodations during your employment. In this envelope is the address to your apartment, keys to the door, passcodes for the building. Everything you’ll need, as well as the paperwork to get you started here as soon as possible. Welcome aboard, Louis.”

Louis thinks he might cry again. He takes the envelope that’s being offered to him, thanking Liam again. He’s not sure he’ll ever  _ stop _ thanking Liam.

A knock on the door frame has both men turning to a see a sheepish-looking Harry poking his head into the room.

“Uh, I just wanted to let you know that I’m headed out, Liam,” he says, stare travelling from the Liam to Louis and resting there, dimples making an appearance as his lips tilt into a sideways grin. It’s almost like he  _ knows _ Louis got the job. Maybe he does, maybe Liam had already decided. He did say he’d thought Louis would be a good fit.

“Oh, great timing,” Liam says, placing a hand on Louis’ shoulder. “Do you mind showing Louis the way to the apartment complex? He’s officially your new neighbor.”

“Absolutely,” Harry agrees immediately, nodding his head as he straightens, his whole body appearing in the doorway rather than just a floating head. “I knew you didn’t need that luck.” He winks and Louis feels his heart do a strange little lurch in his chest.

“Great! Off you go. Louis, my card is in that envelope as well so you can call me if you need anything. I’ll be happy to help you move in once I get my sermon for Sunday ready,” Liam gives Louis a gentle nudge towards the door and, ultimately, Harry. Louis takes a breath and continues moving forward, towards his new neighbor, maybe even his new friend. Harry seems like someone Louis would like to be friends with. But there’s a swarm of butterflies in his belly getting increasingly energetic with each step he takes that tells him he might have to talk himself out of eventually hoping for more.

“Ready to go?”  Harry asks, grasping Louis’ elbow once he’s right in front of him. Can he tell that Louis feels a little unsteady at the moment? Is it so obvious that Louis needs a little grounding? How does he do that, know these things about Louis before  _ Louis _ even realizes it?

“Yeah, I think so,” Louis says, glancing back at Liam where he’s watching them with a fond grin, hands in his pockets and he bounces on his toes. He looks like a proud dad and Louis sort of wants to cry again because he’s never actually had that. “Thank you again, Liam. For pretty much everything.”

“It’s my pleasure, Louis,” Liam nods and then, seeming to remember himself and what he’s still got to do, he moves to take his seat at his desk, Louis assumes to continue working on his sermon.

“C’mon,” Harry says, tugging on his elbow lightly and tearing his focus away from his new boss. “You can follow me home.”

“ _ Home _ ,” Louis repeats softly as he follows Harry down the hallway. That sounds really nice.

*

Louis has this feeling in the pit of his stomach the whole way to the apartment building, following behind Harry’s SUV in his ugly orange truck. It’s almost painful, the twist of anticipation he’s feeling. Things have been too perfect so far. His mother always told him that if something seemed too good to be true, it probably was. Something has to go wrong now.

As Louis backs his truck into the parking space next to Harry’s, he follows him into the building with his bag of essentials on his shoulder, and into the elevator up to their floor, he tries to tell himself that he’s just being paranoid. He’s allowed good things, he’s allowed to be happy. He just has to let himself have this.

All of Louis’ attempts at optimism come to a screeching halt when Harry stops suddenly in the middle of the hallway, causing Louis to slam into his back in surprise.

“Sorry,” Harry says distractedly without even turning to look at him. His eyes are straight ahead and Louis peers over his shoulder to try and see what he’s seeing. “Crap,” he utters, striding forward with purpose and stepping up in front of a door, eyes trained on the carpet at his feet.

Louis follows his gaze and notices the dark blotch that’s spread out in front of the doorway. “Is that my apartment?”

“I’m afraid so,” Harry answers, running a hand through his hair as he sighs. “Can I see your keys, please?”

Louis fumbles with the envelope until they come sliding out into his waiting hand and passes them over to Harry. “It is… water?” Louis asks, looking back at the carpet.

“That’s what I’m guessing,” Harry gives him an apologetic look as he unlocks the door and pushes it inward.

Louis steps up next to Harry to peer inside and,  _ yeah _ , his new apartment is flooded. Louis bites his lip and drops his bag to the floor, careful to miss the wet spot on the carpet as he stares. His gut was right. It usually is. He remembers the way it felt when his phone had gone missing the day he’d been outed to his entire town. He’d felt all kinds of twisted up that day when it wasn’t where he thought he’d left it. He hadn’t even really known why at the time but he’d convinced himself that he was simply coming down with something.

He misses something that Harry says, lost in his memories, but there’s a buzz of something about a pipe before it fades away again.

“Louis?”

And Harry is in front of him, hands grasping his shoulders, looking at him with worry-filled eyes when Louis comes out of it. “Are you okay?”

Louis doesn’t know what he’s done, why Harry’s looking at him like that, until Harry raises a hand and tenderly brushes a tear from Louis’ cheek that he hadn’t realized had fallen. His touch leaves a blaze of warmth in its wake and Louis closes his eyes, savoring the contradiction to the cold lead that’s taken up residence in his stomach.

Before he can even think of opening his eyes, he finds himself surrounded by Harry’s warmth. Not just a trail on his cheek or a wisp of feeling in his chest, but captured in his arms as Harry engulfs him in a hug. “We’ll fix this, alright? Don’t worry about a thing. You can stay with me until it’s done.”

Louis’ arms slowly wrap around Harry too, holding him more tightly than he means to but he’s just so… grateful. For everything that Harry has done for him, for what he’s doing for him now. It feels like Harry is the only thing keeping Louis from coming apart at the seams.

Harry rubs a hand up and down Louis’ back comfortingly, unconcerned by how tight Louis’ grip is or how long their hug is lasting. He seems content to just… hold Louis, for as long as he needs.

Louis takes a breath and lets Harry go, arms dropping back to his sides. Harry takes his cue and released him but doesn’t step away and Louis is embarrassed when he sees that he’s not stopped crying. The damp collar of Harry’s shirt proof that Louis’ making a menace of himself.

“Thank you, Harry. For everything. But I can’t impose on you like that,” Louis says with a shake of his head. “I’ll rent a motel room or something.”

“Nonsense,” Harry argues, reaching out to touch Louis’ wrist. “If I have anything to say about it, Louis Tomlinson, you and I are gonna be  _ great _ friends. And friends help each other out, so. Sorry. You don’t have a choice.” He shrugs playfully and it brings a tiny smile to Louis’ face.

“Well, if I don’t have a choice then,” Louis shrugs back, ducking his head as he does so, still feeling shy around Harry. He’s just so  _ good _ . Wonderful, really. And despite his vocation, Louis realizes that he’s not used to people being so utterly selfless. It’s a sad realization.

“Come on,” Harry tugs on his wrist before letting it go and picking up Louis’ bag as he takes a few steps across the hall and unlocks the door there, nodding into the apartment once it’s opened. “You can go on in and get settled and I’ll give Liam a call to get all of this sorted, alright?”

“Okay,” Louis nods, nervously fixing his hair with one hand as he moves forward, taking his bag from Harry with a smile.

“Oh, um,” Harry stops him, with a graze of fingers on the back of his shoulder that makes him shiver. “There’s only one bedroom, but you can have it until we get you back in your apartment. I’ll sleep on the couch.”

“Harry,” Louis starts to argue but Harry doesn’t let him.

“Sorry,” he says, loudly talking over Louis. “Can’t talk. I have a phone call to make,” he spits out the rest way too fast and then pulls the door closed before Louis can get out a word.

Louis stares at the door, dumbfounded for a moment before the humor of the situation hits him. He snorts once and then he’s laughing and letting his head fall into his hands.  _ Harry _ . God, what is Louis going to do with him?

*

Louis is lounging on the couch when Harry gets back from his phone call roughly twenty minutes later. He’s not unpacked anything. He’s not taking Harry’s bed, so he’s basically laying claim to the couch. Maybe it’s not obvious, which is fine because Louis doesn’t want to give Harry a chance to fight him on it, but Harry doesn’t say anything about the way he’s sprawled himself out.

“Liam will have everything taken care of with your apartment.” Harry grimaces before he says more so Louis’ already expecting bad news. “It could take some time for it to dry out once they get the pipe fixed but you’re welcome to stay here as long as you need.”

“How long could it take?” Louis asks, sitting up.

Harry moves to sit next to him, pinching his bottom lip between his thumb and forefinger. “Anywhere up to a month.”

“A  _ month _ ?” Louis cries already shaking his head. “I can’t put you out for  _ a month _ , Harry.”

“ _ Yes _ , you can, Louis,” Harry tells him with a grin. “I’ve invited you to stay. You’re more than welcome here.”

Louis can’t take his eyes off the lovely man badgering him into invading his apartment for the next four weeks. He studies him with astonishment.  “You don’t even know me, Harry. How can you be this wonderful to me?”

Harry stares back, sadness in his gaze. He reaches over and puts his hand on top of Louis’ where it’s resting on the couch. “Because it’s the right thing to do, Louis. It’s what I hope someone would do for me if I were in your shoes,” He squeezes Louis’ fingers and removes his hand, adopting a smirk as he continues, “Plus, I’m a  _ pretty _ awesome judge of character. I can tell a good egg when I see one.”

Louis blinks. Damn emotions, threatening to spill over again. He looks away, unable to say anything at the moment and Harry seems to understand because he lets Louis get away with it.

“What would you like to do for dinner?” Harry asks, pulling out his phone to check the time. Or maybe it’s an excuse to give Louis a moment of privacy. Louis wouldn’t put it past the guy, he’s already proven to be a pretty good egg himself. “We could go out and I could introduce you to some people. Or we could stay in and I could cook us something here.”

Louis doesn’t miss the small glance that Harry throws his way, probably checking on him to see if he needs another moment.

“I’d, uh, actually prefer to stay in, if that’s alright. But don’t let me keep you if you have plans. I’m perfectly capable of taking care of myself.” Louis doesn’t know why he bothers trying to argue with Harry, by now he should know that the other man is just going to assure him that it’s no problem and do whatever he was planning despite Louis’ protests.

“How do you feel about fajitas?” Harry grins at him. “They’re my specialty.”

“Love a good fajita,” Louis nods.

“Ok, great. I’ll go get started,” Harry stands, leaning over to pick up a remote control from the coffee table, he hands it to Louis. “Make yourself at home.The remote works the television as well as the stereo system if you just want some music on. I’m good with whatever.”

“Er, thanks,” Louis takes the offering, watching Harry’s back as he walks into the kitchen. He turns on the stereo, leaving on some soft contemporary music that won’t disturb him as he pulls out the manila envelope from Liam and gets started on his paperwork.

He’s about halfway through the stack of pages he’s working on when he registers the song playing on the stereo. He recognizes it somewhere in the back of his mind but that’s not what he notices, it’s the soft baritone singing along in that kitchen that’s pulled him from his concentration. Louis watches as Harry sways, singing along as he stands behind a skillet, cooking their dinner. He has a lovely voice and Louis smiles down at his paperwork as he listens. He doesn’t actually fill out the tax paper he was working on, just pretends to as he enjoys the sound of Harry’s singing, one song bleeding into the next. No wonder he’s the musical director at the church, he’s amazing.

Louis gets caught up in it, Harry’s low notes mixing with the soprano on the radio, words about being there when someone needs a friend and never having to be alone. That’s sort of what this feels like, this place he’s trying to establish himself in, the people he’s met so far. He feels  _ found _ after so long without realizing he was lost.

Louis glances up when he realizes that Harry has stopped singing and he finds the other man setting the table for them. Pushing his stuff to the side, Louis gets up to join him. “Let me help,” he says, looking at what Harry’s already put out, searching for something he can do.

“Sure,” Harry acquiesces, pointing into the kitchen. “The glasses are in the cabinet next to the fridge, if you want to pull some down.”

“Okay,” Louis answers, moving to do just that, relieved that Harry didn’t give him a fight for once. Louis needs to do  _ something _ to earn his place here in Harry’s home. He wouldn’t be surprised if Harry realized that, his ability to read Louis is unnerving but not unwelcome.

Dinner is a simple affair. They talk over the radio going quietly in the background, gingerly getting to know each other. Louis notices that Harry lets him ask most of the questions and when Harry does ask some, they’re never about Louis’ home or his past. Louis appreciates that more than he can say.

After dinner, Louis insists on washing the dishes and Harry lets him but stands next to him to dry them and put them away. When Harry resumes singing along to the radio, Louis tentatively joins in on the songs he knows and he can see Harry’s mouth quirked into a smile from the corner of his eye.

“How are you feeling?” Harry asks when the dishes are done and the radio is turned off. “Are you tired from driving all day? If you’re ready for bed, I can get it ready for you. Or we can watch a movie or something, if you’re up for that.”

Louis stifles a yawn. He doesn’t want to go to bed yet, especially if it means taking Harry’s bed. But, of course, Harry sees it, like he’s seen everything else.

“I’ll go change the sheets on the bed,” He says with a knowing grin.

“Actually,” Louis stops him, catching the crook of his elbow before he can get far. “I’d really like to watch something, if that’s okay.”

“Of course it is,” Harry tells him, patting Louis’ hand on his arm before pulling away gently. “The sheets still need changing, so I’ll go ahead and do that, but go ahead and pick something out if you want. The DVDs are in the cabinet under the television, or there’s Netflix. Whichever you prefer. I’ll be back in a few minutes.”

Louis watches helplessly as Harry walks away, disappearing into his room. He’s just as determined not to take that bed as Harry is to give it to him. He’ll have to think of some other way to get out of it.

Louis moves to the cabinet the television sits on and looks through the DVDs underneath, chuckling when all he finds are romances and romcoms. He probably could have guessed that Harry would be a romantic.  He’s reading the back of a case when Harry comes back in.

“ _ Amelie _ ,” Harry sighs wistfully, eyeing the case Louis’ holding. “That is a fantastic movie. Also, it’s in French so I hope you’re fluent or into subtitles if you want to watch that one.”

Louis studies the case. He’s too tired to be reading tiny subtitles right now. “Maybe another night,” he promises, grinning at Harry’s pouting face. “What would you recommend?”

“Um,” Harry says, eyes wide like he can’t believe Louis’ question. “ _ All of them _ , Louis. I wouldn’t own them if I didn’t love them.”

“Well then, I’ll pick… this one,” Louis says, picking one at random. “This looks good.” He opens the case and removes the DVD without even looking at them, grinning at Harry’s horrified scoff.

“You don’t even know what you’re putting in!” He cries, gesturing wildly at where Louis’ putting the movie into the DVD player.

“But you  _ love them all _ , so it shouldn’t matter,” Louis mocks him playfully, moving to sit next to him on the couch. “Besides, I love a good surprise. Don’t you?”

Harry raises an eyebrow at him, gaze travelling over his companion thoughtfully, a sweet smile on his face. “I suppose I do.”

Louis feels that warmth that’s been plaguing him all day come back at the implication in Harry’s agreement, that he might actually like having Louis around. He turns to looks at the television, at the movie starting up on it, and bites his lip as he brings his knees up to his chest, settling himself into a corner of the couch to watch.

“Ahh,  _ Chocolat _ ,” Harry sighs again when the movie starts, obviously pleased at Louis’ choice. “This is  _ such _ a good movie, Louis.”

Louis smiles but doesn’t say anything, choosing to reply by watching the film with rapt attention. Louis falls into the story easily, rooting for the outsider that comes into a new town and is shunned by the majority of the population. It hits a little too close to home sometimes and Louis tends to shrink in on himself when painful memories of his last home are brought to the surface of his mind.

About halfway through the movie, Harry gets up, asking quietly if Louis wants a drink and Louis shakes his head, too deep in his head to answer properly. He realizes his rudeness after Harry’s already moved away and feels guilty about it. When Harry returns, he sits down on the cushion next to him instead of where he was before and throws an arm over the back of the couch. Louis glances from Harry’s arm to the understanding gaze that’s already trained on him and takes it for the invitation it is, leaning into Harry’s side and resting his head on his shoulder.

Louis didn’t know it was possible to be this comfortable with someone he’s just met but it feels good and he can sense the tension leaving his body as Harry’s arm moves from the back of the couch to drape over his shoulder.  _ Do friends do this _ ? Louis wonders. He’s never had any that were so willing to put aside their masculinity in order to make someone feel more at ease. Harry is quite the treasure, he’s discovering.

*

Louis blinks his eyes open slowly, there’s a crick in his neck and he groans in pain as he lifts his head, rolling his neck to iron out the kinks in his muscles. He stares at the television, some news program rambling on with the volume on low, while he waits for his brain to catch up with the rest of him.

It takes something shifting next to him for Louis to fully awaken, turning his head to see Harry sitting there, head tilted back to rest against the couch. It looks just as painful as the position Louis woke up in. He’s sleeping peacefully, soft snores falling from his lips. Louis stares at him in confusion and then turns back to the television. If Harry fell asleep during the movie like Louis did, the menu from the DVD should still be playing. But it’s not. Which means… he must have let Louis sleep on him even after the movie was over, not wanting to disturb him.

Louis knows he should probably feel embarrassed about falling asleep on Harry, but instead he just feels gratitude for this amazing man that he gets the privilege to call his friend. And they  _ are  _ friends, Louis has decided, though he hasn’t done much to earn everything that Harry’s done for him.

Looking around the apartment, Louis’ stare stops at the kitchen. He could make Harry breakfast. It’s a small gesture, but it’s a step closer to repaying him back for being so good to Louis. Louis moves to stand, only to realize that Harry’s arm is still around his shoulders. Carefully, he removes it, placing it gently down at Harry’s side and tiptoes to the kitchen. Moving as quietly as possible, Louis peers into the fridge to see what he has to work with. He has to peek into half the cabinets to find what he needs to do the actual cooking but Louis starts whipping up some pancakes, pulling out the strawberries and a can of whipped cream that Harry had in the fridge to go with them.

“Something smells good.”

The suddenness of Harry’s presence startles Louis. He turns and finds Harry watching him fondly, hair a mess of wild curls that he’s currently running a hand through as he stands on the other side of the kitchen smiling sheepishly.

“Sorry.”

Louis waves away the apology, pulling a plate down from the cabinet overhead and passing it to Harry. “Making breakfast is the least I could do,” he says, turning back to the pancake he’s on the verge of burning and leaving Harry to take some from the stack on the counter.

“You know I don’t expect anything from you, right Louis?” Harry asks as he helps himself to the food, adding some strawberries to his plate but leaving off the whipped cream. His eyes never leave his food and that keeps Louis from feeling any kind of pressure about his answer.

“I do know that,” Louis tells Harry with a shrug of his shoulders. “But I’m doing it for myself as well.”

Harry lifts his eyes then, watching Louis make his own plate,  _ with whipped cream _ because he’s not a  _ savage _ , and the slight grin Harry’s wearing says that Louis’ answer is not news to him. It kind of is to Louis though. He needs to do these mundane things like washing the dishes and cooking breakfast to feel like he’s got some control over his life again. He  _ needs _ it and, somehow, Harry knew that.

Louis looks across the table at him in wonder.  _ How does he do that? And is it just Louis that he understands so completely, or everyone? _

“These are excellent pancakes, Louis,” Harry compliments with a wink.

“Thank you, Harry,” Louis replies, heat rising on his cheeks.

*

“That was fast,” Liam comments when Louis hands over his paperwork later that afternoon. He’s smiling as he accepts it looking through it and humming in pleasant surprise when he sees everything filled out correctly. “It’s usually like pulling teeth getting this lot to finish anything as boring as  _ paperwork _ .”

“Heeeey,” Harry draws out, a pout on his face where he stands at Louis’ side. “Excuse you, Liam. I am very responsible.”

Liam laughs, patting Harry’s shoulder playfully. “Or course you are.”

Louis looks between them and it’s clear they’re actually friends and not just co-workers. It’s nice to see. Back home, he’d never really had anything like that with his peers at the church. As an associate pastor, he’d been sort of held apart from everyone else. Only the pastor had treated him like an equal, a kind of mutual respect between them, but that had gone away when everything else had fallen apart.

“I’ll just go put these away,” Liam says, breaking into Louis’ thoughts. Louis is thankful for it. It seems he can’t think about his past without hitting a wall of painful memories, slamming into it full force.  “Louis, will you come along? I know it’s a bit early in our relationship for this, but I’m afraid I already have a favor to ask.”

“Yeah, sure,” Louis answers hoping he sounds a little calmer than he actually feels. He doesn’t know why the thought of Liam wanting to talk to him in private has his anxiety rising but it does. Maybe Liam’s come to the realization that this is a mistake. Louis isn’t ready to have to find a new place to belong. He likes it here, likes the people.

Harry’s warm hand lands on Louis’ shoulder and Louis spins to look at him, getting a head rush from turning so quickly. Harry’s hand squeezes gently and his smile is soft and Louis’ tense muscles loosen a little.  _ How does he do that? _

“I’ll be in my office when you’re done. If you’re up for it, we can go to dinner after. Niall should be around here somewhere, I can invite him so you two can meet?” Harry’s eyes search Louis’ expression, a gentle prodding that has Louis giving him a tiny smile.

“Yeah, that sounds wonderful.”

“Great,” Harry beams at him, already taking a backwards step in his excitement. “Niall is hilarious, you’ll love him.”

“I think he’s in the food pantry,” Liam provides as Harry turns to go searching for this mysterious Niall person.

“Thanks,” Harry calls with a wave, turning so that he can watch where he’s going.

“Louis?” Liam reminds Louis who he should be giving his attention to, nodding in the direction of his office. “I apologize if I’m messing up any previous plans you had for the day,” he says as they walk, closing the door behind him once they’re in his office.

“No, no plans,” Louis assures him, sitting in the chair opposite Liam’s desk and feeling a sense of déjà vu right down to the nerves he’d had the last time he sat here. They’re back. The uncertainty of what Liam’s going to ask of him making him feel a bit unsteady.

“And how are you doing staying with Harry?” Liam asks, looking at Louis expectantly.

“It’s great,” Louis answers warmly. “Harry’s wonderful. It’s very generous of him to offer to let me stay with him.”

“Yeah, Harry’s a good lad,” Liam tells him with a fond grin. It dims a bit before he speaks again. “I’m sorry about your apartment.”

“It’s fine,” Louis says with a small shrug of his shoulder. “Perhaps it happened for a reason.”

“Ahhh, they do say God’s ways are mysterious,” Liam winks, apparently agreeing with Louis. “Which actually brings me to the favor I need to ask. I was contacted by a member of our congregation today.”

Louis’ stomach hurts already at Liam’s words. Is someone already demanding his dismissal? As far as he knows, no one but Liam even knows he’s gay… and possibly Harry but Louis can’t be sure if he actually heard that declaration when he was tripping over his feet. Louis didn’t think either of them was the type to gossip, but his faith in people has gotten him into trouble before. He swallows hard as Liam continues on, totally oblivious to Louis’ inner turmoil.

“You haven’t met her yet, obviously, but Patricia Ogden is a lovely woman. Her niece will be in the Sunday school class you’ll be teaching and that’s what I need to talk to you about.”

Louis tries not to jump to any more conclusions but his mind is already deciding this woman doesn’t want him teaching her niece. He didn’t miss Liam’s description of her as a wonderful person but he can’t help fearing the worst. He was hurt so badly in his last home, pain seems to be the only thing he can hold onto now.

“Louis, are you alright?” Liam cuts himself off and Louis realizes that he hasn’t heard anything since his brain started going rapid-force trying to tell himself that he’s been found unworthy, yet again.

“Yes. I’m sorry,” Louis shakes the thoughts off the best he can and forces himself to focus. “You were saying?”

Liam eyes him with concern for another moment but then, thankfully, goes back to what they were discussing. “Patricia called me and asked that I pray for her niece, Elizabeth, because she came out to someone she trusted and they turned around an outed her to the rest of her school.”

Louis’ breath catches. “ _ Oh _ ,” is all he can manage to say, voice small, heart pounding.

“I wanted to ask you to watch out for her, maybe talk to her if she looks like she needs it,” Liam presses on delicately, tone kind and gaze gentle. “I’m sorry if I’m over-stepping, Louis. There  _ are _ other people I could ask but I thought you would be uniquely qualified because…”

“Because I’ve lived it,” Louis finishes so that Liam doesn’t have to say it. He’s already nodding, accepting the task. He couldn’t do anything to help himself but he  _ can _ help this girl. At the very least, he can give her someone to turn to if things get too overwhelming. “I’ll do my best to help her,” he promises.

“I knew you would,” Liam smiles at him. Perhaps Louis’ faith isn’t misplaced this time. Maybe  _ this time _ , it’s right where it belongs.

*

“Hey,” Harry greets him with a grin when he sees Louis hovering at his office door.

“Hi,” Louis smiles back but doesn’t enter, just in case he’s intruding.

Apparently he’s not though because Harry stands from his chair and moves to join Louis in the hallway. “Are you ready to go?”

“Yeah, I think so,” Louis tells him, feeling nervous to be meeting someone new. He wonders if there’s always going to be fear snaking around his spine each time he meets someone, afraid they’ll find out about him, afraid he’ll be rejected again just for being who he is. He thinks about the girl Liam told him about and hopes she’s not facing the same fears already.

“Louis?” Harry’s hand on his forearm brings his thoughts back to him. “Are you okay?”

“Yes. Sorry. Was just thinking,” Louis says, feeling his cheeks heat. Harry’s hand on his arm tightens for a second, just a tiny squeeze but it makes Louis think that somehow Harry knows how dark his thoughts were.

“Don’t think  _ too _ hard,” Harry tells him, a small upturn to the corner of his mouth. Louis thinks he might be teasing but his eyes say he’s serious too. It’s good advice when Louis’ thoughts are going down such lonely roads.

“I try not to,” Louis grins, trying to tease back.

Harry smiles, letting his arm go and Louis feels a bit bereft without the comfort. “Let’s go steal Niall from the pantry.” His hand falls to the small of Louis’ back as he leads Louis away from his office. It shouldn’t influence the beat of Louis’ heart, but it does. He ignores the rapid fluttering in his chest and pretends that Harry’s touch has no effect on him.

When they get to the pantry, Harry sticks his head in and shouts, “Niall, we’re leaving!”

“Ok,” Niall hollers back.  “Let me finish up in here and I’ll meet you at the pub!”

“Don’t eat everything!” Harry yells, smiling at Louis when there’s a crash in the pantry and he can hear Niall’s cry of  _ son of a—. _

“Why does everyone think I’m always eating?!?” is the reply they get. Harry doesn’t answer, just laughs and tugs Louis along to the door down the hallway and out to the car.

*

Niall is as hilarious as Harry said he is. Louis likes him immediately. Of course, the giant bear hug he gets when Niall arrives at the pub doesn’t hurt.

“Hi,” Louis gets out, standing to shake Niall’s hand when he finds himself engulfed in Niall’s arms.

“You must be Louis,” Niall says, squeezing him affectionately, before letting go. “Harry tells me you’re the new youth pastor.”

Louis stumbles back into his seat in the booth that Harry had led him to when they arrived while Niall squeezes in next to Harry on the other side. “Uh, yeah. I’m really looking forward to getting started.” His eyes drift from Niall, who’s already nodding his head like this is the most interesting conversation in the world, to Harry, who’s gazing at both of them with a smile that looks like he’s holding back some of his joy and his nose scrunched adorably. Louis flicks his gaze back to Niall and ignores that last thought. “Harry tells me that you volunteer at the church?”

“Oh yeah,” Niall nods, leaning back in his seat when the waitress, Tris, comes by to drop off the drinks that Harry and Louis already ordered while they were waiting. “Hey, Tris,” he lifts his face to smile at her. “Having a good day?”

“I’m here, what do  _ you _ think?” She winks at him, pulling out her pad and pen. “What can I get you, bub?”

“Do you even need to ask?” Niall chuckles when he sees her already writing.

“Not really,” she grins, finishing her writing with a flourish. “Just thought I’d ask in case you were in a weird mood.”

“I’m always in a weird mood,” he laughs.

“I misspoke,” she sighs, “in case you were in a  _ weirder _ mood.”

“Thanks, babe,” Niall winks back at her, a comical over-exaggerated thing.

Tris smacks his shoulder. “Alright, everything in the kitchen, coming right up!”

“Wha—  _ Why _ does everyone always say that?!?” Niall protests, bewildered, looking first at Louis and then at Harry when all Louis can do is shrug.

Harry laughs behind his hand, elbow resting on the table while tears gather in the corner of his eyes.

Niall gives him a firm nudge with his shoulder. “You put her up to that, didn’t you?”

Harry only shakes his head as he keeps laughing. Louis finds himself smiling too in the face of such amusement.

The meal goes by quickly with Harry and Niall taking turns picking on each other. Louis feels connected to both of them already. He enjoys watching them act like the brothers they call themselves. They aren’t blood, they’re chosen family, which is the best kind if you ask Louis. 

How much it would mean to be  _ chosen _ . He used to feel chosen. When he decided to become ordained, he felt chosen by god. When he became an associate pastor at his old church, he’d felt chosen by the pastor and the congregation. It’s frightening how quickly  _ chosen _ can change to forsaken. 

It’s different with Harry and Niall though, their friendship is special, he can feel it. There’s an ache in his heart as he watches them, but it’s a good ache for once. It’s a longing to have what they have, yes, but also a gratitude at the knowledge that what they have is precious and unshakable. It makes him hopeful that he can find that too. Maybe even with these people.

When they’re almost finished, Harry gets up to make a trip to the bathroom, leaving Louis and Niall alone to chat.

“So, you like volunteering at the church?” Louis asks, lifting his drink to his lips

“Love it,” Niall replies, stealing a chip from Harry’s plate after checking over his shoulder to make sure Harry isn’t coming back yet. “I owe everything to that church. Taking care of a few charity drives is the least I can do.”

“What do you mean, if you don’t mind me asking?” Louis questions, gut already twisting uncomfortably at asking such a personal question. He senses something sad in Niall’s eyes as the other man finishes his food and wipes his hands on a napkin.

“My family was killed in a car crash when I was fifteen.”

“Oh god, I’m so sorry,” Louis breathes, feeling terrible for bringing up such a painful topic.

Niall shrugs, “It happened. I was angry for a long time. I kept trading in the foster system for juvie, digging myself into a deeper hole than I ever would have been able to get out of on my own. When my family was alive, I didn’t believe in much. But when they were gone, I didn’t believe in anything.” The harshness of his words is softened by the smile that slowly graces his face. “Then, at one of my court dates, this buttoned-up old codger stands up and asks to speak on my behalf. I was there for vandalizing a church and apparently, it was his church I’d messed up. But he asked if, instead of another stint in juvie, I could do community service, painting over the horrible things I’d spray-painted into the side of his building. Said he’d be responsible for me.”

Louis’ eyes are filling with tears. Just the thought that someone was willing to look past adolescent Niall’s anger and give him a chance is tugging on Louis’ heartstrings.

Niall looks out across the pub, gaze clouded with memory as he chuckles to himself. “The old codger was Liam’s father. He basically took me in. Showed me what it meant to be saved. Gave me something to believe in again. Turned my whole life around. So, yeah,” Niall’s eyes focus again, this time on Louis, a soft grin on his face, “I owe a lot to that church.”

Louis nods, trying to subtly wipe at his eyes. He gets it. Sounds like exactly the kind of thing he signed up for when he was ordained, but didn’t find himself.  He’s so proud to be a part of a church that’s actually practiced what they preached.

“Sorry, it took me so long,” Harry says walking back up to the table. He doesn’t make Niall get up so that he can sit back down, instead reaching for his wallet when it’s clear that Niall and Louis have finished their food. He drops a tip on the table for the waitress. “There was someone in there getting sick. I wanted to make sure he was okay and that he wouldn’t be driving himself home.”

“That’s awfully nice of you,” Louis comments. He doesn’t know if there’s a limit to the regard you can feel for another person, especially one you barely know, but he thinks for Harry, that limit must be at some immeasurable distance. Louis finds something new to admire about him every day.

“I just did what anyone else would do,” Harry shrugs, like caring for strangers is actually something that’s commonplace. Louis would hate to disappoint him, but that’s not been true in his experience.  It’s what anyone else  _ should  _ do, but not necessarily what they would. His eyes move from the table to Louis’ face and he stills his movements, 

“Are you alright?” He asks, concern leaking through each word. Louis knows his face must be flushed from trying not to cry at Niall’s story.

“Yeah, m’fine,” Louis smiles at Harry, appreciating the way he always seems to know when Louis is emotional.

“Sure?” He checks, never taking his eyes off Louis’ face. Harry looks like he wants to reach out to him, fingers flexing before curling into a loose fist at his side.

“Yes,” Louis tells him. The sincerity in the word settles something in Harry and he nods, accepting Louis’ answer.

“Okay, then I’m gonna go pay for this,” Harry says, leaning down to pick up the check from the table and walking off with it before Louis can protest.

“Don’t worry about it,” Niall waves off his look of objection. “You’re new here, so Harry’s gonna take care of you. It’s just who he is.” He laughs that infectious laugh of his and jokes, “When you’ve been here for a while, he might let you put up a fight about it.”

Louis looks from Niall to Harry’s back where he’s standing in line behind the register, waiting to pay. “I’ve never met anyone quite like him before,” he mutters, mostly to himself.

“ _ Oh _ . Do I detect a hint of admiration for our musical director?” Niall asks, raising his brows when Louis turns his attention to him suddenly.

“What?  _ No. _ Why?” Louis panics. He doesn’t know what Niall reads on his face but he backtracks quickly.

“Sorry. I shouldn’t have implied anything,” Niall says, hands raised like Louis is some wild animal about to attack if Niall gets too close. He hates that panicking is his first reaction to even possibly imagined insinuations about his sexuality, but after everything that happened  _ before _ , he just doesn’t want to put his possible future here in jeopardy. “But I mean, if you’re homophobic, I’m not gonna let you stay with Harry anymore.”

Louis’ stare shoots from Niall to Harry and back. “Are you saying…?”

“I don’t know, depends on if you’re homophobic or not,” Niall narrows his eyes at Louis.

Louis sighs, suddenly exhausted. “I’m not homophobic.”

“Then why did you freak out when I suggested you might have a thing for Harry?” Niall questions. The sad thing is, Louis can hardly blame Niall for being so suspicious of him. Louis is suspicious of everyone now. He’s just a lot less vocal about it.

“Because I’m not… you know…  _ out _ , here. I don’t want to ruin things by people finding out about me. I know Liam says it will be fine, but Harry’s been kind enough to let me stay with him. The last thing I want is him thinking I’m gonna try to climb into his bed with him at night or something. I’m not some kind of  _ deviant _ , I’m just gay,” Louis’ voice sounds so small even to himself by the time he finishes his explanation and he doesn’t think he wants to chance a glance at Niall.

Niall draws his attention anyway, leaning across the table. When Louis looks up at him, he’s got a look of absolute ferocity in his eyes. “Who said that about you? Who told you that there was something wrong with you for being gay?”

Louis’ eyes nearly fill with tears again and he swallows hard, trying to fight them off. He doesn’t know how to answer. How do you tell someone that everyone you’ve ever known besides your family has turned their back on you? “A lot of people.”

“People here?” Niall asks, reaching out a hand to wrap around Louis’ wrist on the table. Niall’s hand is hot on his arm but it’s a comforting heat. The fire in his eyes and the intensity in his tone should make Louis flinch away but they don’t. They’re not directed  _ at him _ , they’re  _ for _ him.

Louis shakes his head, feeling his heart swell at the thought that even though they just met, Niall would have his back. Louis thinks he’s forgotten what that feels like.

“Look, if anyone, and I mean  _ anyone _ , says anything derogatory about you  _ or _ Harry, you let me know,” Niall tells him, releasing Louis’ wrist and patting the back of his hand before taking his own back.

Louis glances at Harry, still at the cash register, laughing with Tris while she rings him up. “You shouldn’t have outed him,” he tells Niall, quietly.

“Who, Harry?” Niall asks, pointing his thumb at Harry over his shoulder. He waves a hand at the comment like it’s no big deal. “He’s out and proud.”

Louis keeps his eyes on Harry, feeling his insides go cold at Niall’s statement. “Not to me, he wasn’t.”

What if Harry  _ doesn’t want _ him to know? And what does that say about Louis if he doesn’t?

Louis’ mind is all set to go on a downward spiral of self-doubt but when Harry walks back, smiling at him fondly and asking if he’s ready to head home, such thoughts just kind of… scatter. Harry is a light shining in the darkness, sending the shadows running.

*

Louis is nervous. And a bit tired. He and Harry both fell asleep on the couch again last night while watching a movie. It wasn’t comfortable but Louis still considers it a victory.

He sits through the Early Service trying to pay attention to Liam’s sermon. He’d been introduced as the new youth pastor at the beginning of the service and now he’s just trying to ignore the fact that in an hour, he’s going to be teaching his own Sunday School class. It’s difficult at first to get past the uncertainty of having impressionable young minds to teach again, but then Louis notices something.  Liam is  _ good _ . He speaks his words with a passion that a lot of people standing behind a podium lack. Sure, plenty of people will stand there and yell at their congregation for an hour or more about morality and following God’s word but yelling doesn’t necessarily equal passion. Liam comes to life standing up there and Louis finds himself smiling as Liam assures everyone in the room that God sees them.

“No matter how small you feel, or how insignificant you think you are,” Liam says winding down as soft strands of music start playing softly. “God sees you. He knows your triumphs. He sees your struggles. And whether you can feel it or not, he’s always sending you the strength to carry on. It may not be evident at first, but he’s sending the cavalry to help you. Because you’re his. And God takes care of his people.”

The music swells as Harry takes his place at the front of the choir. He looks magnificent standing there, bouncing joyously to the music as he leads them in song after song about God’s love. It does Louis good to see all those smiling faces singing words that they appear to believe with all of their heart.

There was a storm in Louis’ mind at the start of church but it’s been calmed by the conviction in Liam’s words and the elation of each person singing in the choir, the voices of the congregation rising up to join in. He finds his faith has been strengthened by such a glorious display of devotion. He is one of God’s children, and God is taking care of him. He brought him  _ here _ , didn’t he? That’s proof enough in Louis’ book.

*

After the Early Service finishes, Harry leads Louis to his Sunday School classroom. He’s less nervous than before but there’s still a slight tremor in his hands when he reaches out to open the door. Harry must notice because he reaches out and catches Louis’ wrist before he can open the door. There are people rushing past in all directions, but all his attention is focused on Louis.

“You’re gonna be great, Louis,” Harry tells him, thumb brushing over the delicate skin of Louis’ inner wrist. “These kids are going to love you.”

Louis shakes his head, giving Harry a doubtful smile. “You’ve never even seen me at work before, Harry. Maybe I’m horrible.”

Harry smiles back, a proud beam that Louis can’t help but be a bit dazzled by. “I’ve seen enough to know that you’re an excellent example to these kids. And I know something I don’t think you’ve realized yet.”

“What’s that?” Louis is helpless to take Harry’s bait.

Harry watches him thoughtfully for a moment before speaking again. “I don’t know why, but a lot of the time, it feels like what Liam said today is true. That you’re waiting for your cavalry to come,” He releases Louis’ wrist and reaches up to cup Louis’ jaw delicately instead. “For these kids,  _ you are the cavalry _ . You’re what they need, Lou.”

Louis swallows, stare caught on the glimmer of absolute faith in Harry’s eyes. “I’m not so sure about that.”

“ _ Be sure _ ,” Harry insists, letting his hand fall from Louis’ face. The slide of his fingers feels like a caress. “I am.”

“Um,” a voice breaks into their conversation.

They both turn to look at the young girl, glancing nervously between them.

“Sorry to interrupt,” she says, looking like she wants the ground to open up, “but this is where my class is.”

“Oh, sorry,” Louis mumbles, moving out of the way of the door. Harry moves with him, smiling at the girl.

“You look nice today, Brittany,” he tells her.

“Thank you, Mr. Styles,” Brittany says with a small grin before walking into the classroom.

A bell rings over the church intercom, signaling that time is running out for everyone to get to their designated classroom and Harry turns back to Louis.

“Be sure,” he repeats, a playfulness evident in his smile as he backs away, before turning around and striding off down the hall.

Louis watches him go, afraid that any confidence Harry brought to him will follow behind. But it doesn’t. Louis rolls back his shoulders, stands up straight and reaches for the door handle, whispering to himself, “be sure.”

 

*

Once the bell rings signaling the start of class, Louis stands at the front of the room and looks around.

“Hello,” he says to the vibrant group of youths staring back at him. “My name is Louis Tomlinson.  If you missed the announcement at the Early Service, I’m the new youth pastor here at Holy Spirit. I didn’t plan a lesson today because I wanted to take this time to get to know you all. Find out what  _ you _ think we need to talk about during our time together.” He’s still a bit shaky but he keeps his hands moving, so it’s hopefully not noticeable. Harry’s voice keeps echoing in his mind.  _ Be sure _ . But the part that’s echoing loudest is what came after. … _ I am _ .

After spending a few minutes learning the names of everyone in the class, Louis notices a girl with pretty green glasses at the back of the room raising her hand.

“Yes, Talia?”

“What do you mean by what  _ we  _ think we should talking about?” She asks, lowering her hand. “You mean things like… bullying?”

“Is that something you think we need to discuss?” Louis asks, sitting on the edge of a table that stands just next to the door. “Is that something that you or someone you know is facing?”

She looks down at the ground, her posture screaming of shame. “Yeah, but that doesn’t really have anything to do with church or the Bible.”

“You don’t think so?”

She shrugs still not looking at him.  He’s acutely familiar with what she appears to be feeling. A quick glance around shows that she’s not the only one plagued by this.

“First of all,” Louis announces, drawing their gazes towards him, “it’s important for everyone to know, whatever a bully says, whatever they see that they find fault with, that’s _their_ issue. Not their victim’s. There’s nothing wrong with who _you_ are. ” It’s easy to say, not as easy to believe. Louis is still having trouble with that part himself. He thinks he’s starting to get it, though. He swallows and continues on. “I’m not saying this gives them any right to bully. It doesn’t. No matter what they’re going through that makes them this way, there is _never_ an excuse to bully. The Bible _does_ have some thoughts on the topic though.”

Louis walks over to the whiteboard on the wall behind the little podium that he should be using (but isn’t going to), picks up a marker and, uncapping it, writes _Luke 6:27-28_ on the board.  He turns back to his class. “But I say to you who hear, love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, bless those who curse you, pray for those who abuse you.”

“So, basically, just take it,” Talia mutters and a few of the other kids don’t look too happy with the sentiment either.

“I don’t think that’s what those verses mean at all,” Louis says, heart clenching at the pain permeating the room. How many of these kids have been dealing with people abusing them? How many have been suffering in silence? How many has Louis just let down by not telling them to fight back? “Obviously, first and foremost,  if somebody is being bullied, report it, tell  an authority figure or a parent. Someone who can help. But if that doesn’t  stop it —”

“We all know the whole ‘turn the other cheek’ thing. My parents have told me that since I’ve been old enough for my brother to beat up on,” Logan interrupts harshly, arms crossed over his chest.

Louis is losing them.

“These words aren’t telling you to pretend nothing is happening,” Louis gestures to the whiteboard. “They’re calling you to action. Sure, it’s not the action you want to be taking, but it’s not _nothing_.  If you turn around and fight this person, if you hurt them back, just as much as they hurt you, are you not adding to the number of bullies in the world? You’re definitely adding to the amount of pain. If you can show your bully that you forgive them, and you show them kindness, and pray for them, that God will come into their life and change their heart, what do you think happens then?”

“You get beat up some more.”

“Maybe,” Louis utters, because it can’t be denied that some people will never accept that kind of love, even when given unconditionally. “But what if it works? If your kindness, your forgiveness reaches them and they change. They become a better person, maybe even your friend.” Louis looks around and sees every eye on him, every kid in that room hanging on the edge of their seat.  “Well, you’ve effectively gotten your revenge, haven’t you? Because you’ve killed the person that they were, and now they’re someone new, someone maybe even they didn’t realize they were capable of being. All because  _ you _ gave them that chance. And it may have been hard, it may have seemed unbearable at times, but even if that doesn’t happen, even if they never change,  _ you’ve endured _ and you’ve come out stronger for it.”

“But what if we’re not stronger for it?” Elizabeth asks. It hurts Louis’ heart to hear how small she sounds.

“You  _ are _ . If you don’t feel strong enough on your own, you can always talk to someone. Let them add their strength to yours, but I think you’re stronger than you realize. Maybe you don’t see it because you can’t perceive the change in yourself as well as others can. But it’s like looking in a mirror as time passes. You see yourself everyday so you don’t really notice the lengthening of your hair or the crinkles by your eyes, but other people see it,” Louis tells her, hoping his message is weakening her insecurities. “I know I do.”

Maybe it doesn’t mean much, coming from a relative stranger, but Elizabeth graces him with a tiny grin at his words, so Louis thinks he’s gotten through. And that’s definitely a win.

Class passes quickly after that and they end on a prayer. Some pray for their families, some pray for their friends, and others actually end up praying for their bullies. The prayers of the kids in his class resonate within him and make Louis realize that his tale is not so different from theirs. Perhaps he has some praying to do too, for a great many people several hours away in a small town that he used to call home.

 

*

 

“Pastor Tomlinson,” Elizabeth calls when the room has emptied out.

“Hello, Elizabeth,” he smiles. “What can I help you with?”

“Has my aunt talked to you?” She asks, an embarrassed flush to her cheeks.

“No, she hasn’t,” Louis tells her closing the door so no one overhears their conversation and ushering the girl to a seat, sitting in the chair beside her. “But Pastor Payne told me I might have someone coming to me to talk.”

Elizabeth hangs her head. “He told you, didn’t he? About what happened at school?”

“He did,” Louis admits, not wanting to lie to the girl. “But he only told me because he thought I might be able to help.”

She sighs heavily, eyes already watering. “Outed again.”

“Hey,” Louis says gently, trying to get her to look up from the floor. “I know how much it hurts when someone betrays your trust. But Liam— Pastor Payne, wasn’t trying to hurt you. I’m sorry that he did, but he didn’t mean to.”

“I know,” she says, wiping at her eye. She looks up at Louis, questioning. “Why did he think you could help?”

Louis smiles sadly. “Because I’ve been in your shoes.” He looks down at her strapped sandals and amends, “Not literally. Though, they  _ are _ nice.”

Glancing down at her shoes, Elizabeth snorts a laugh when the joke hits her and she rolls her eyes at him, shaking her head. “You’re as bad as Mr. Styles.”

“Am I?” Louis asks, genuinely happy to hear it. Being compared to someone he has so much respect and admiration for is never going to be a bad thing.

Elizabeth must be able to see it on his face because she snorts again. “That’s not a compliment.”

“Well, that’s too bad because that’s how I choose to take it,” Louis says cheerfully.

Elizabeth grins, glancing at him before biting her lip thoughtfully. The apprehension comes back slowly but it’s lighter now, not as oppressive when she asks, “So you were outed to your whole high school?”

Louis shakes his head slowly, “No. I was outed to my whole town.”

“Sheesh. I’m sorry,” Elizabeth says, looking at him with a new sense of respect in her eyes. “What did you do?”

“I found a new town,” Louis answers. “One that, so far, has been nothing but accepting.”

“Oh,” Elizabeth breathes, clasping her hands in her lap, obviously disappointed with his answer. “I can’t exactly change schools.”

“Is the whole school the problem?” Louis wonders, head tilted in interest.

Louis can’t stop thinking about how young she looks as she bites his her lip in thought. He’s lucky, he thinks, that his outing didn’t happen until he was older. That he’s not stuck in the place that would condemn him for something he can’t change.

“No,” she admits. “I mean, some people talk when they think I can’t hear but that’s pretty normal, I guess. They did that before Jess outed me.  Mostly, it’s Jess.”

“She was your friend before you came out?” Louis checks.

“She was my best friend,” Elizabeth tells him, arms folding over each other like she’s hugging herself. Louis wants to hug her too, but he’s not sure he should, so he holds back. “Now, she looks at me like I’m  _ dirty _ . She treats me like I’m some kind of sexual predator or something.”

She shivers at the ugly words as she remembers them. Louis’ heart is breaking for her. He can relate on so many levels. Elizabeth looks up at him and there’s a nervousness in her eyes that lets him know that whatever she’s about to tell him is important.

“I just like girls. I think about kissing them. And cuddling. But I don’t know if I ever even  _ want  _ to have sex. Just the thought of sex kind of freaks me out,” she confesses, holding herself tighter.

Louis smiles at her. “Have you heard of asexuality?”

“Yeah,” she nods enthusiastically, excited that he seems to understand what she’s telling him. “I think that’s what I am.”

His smile grows, “Thank you for trusting me with that.” 

She looks a little shocked for a minute before it appears to dawn on her that she just came out to him, her own words on her own terms.

“Oh, wow,” she says, sounding awed. She laughs in relief. “It’s so nice to tell someone about me and it not end in tears.”

Louis is proud of her, and glad that there is already a level of trust between them. “I know the feeling,” he says. He remembers how it felt to tell Niall, how his mind had been churning with worry. Niall just  _ accepted _ him, was even protective of him. It was pretty amazing.

“Do you remember what I said in class earlier about bullies?” Louis asks. “Whatever Jess says about you, whatever she thinks is wrong, that’s on  _ her.  _ It’s her issue, not yours,” Louis reminds her. “There is absolutely nothing wrong with you, okay?”

Elizabeth looks at Louis and she smiles, reaching over to hug his neck. “Nothing wrong with  _ us _ ,” she amends and it means more than Louis can say. He has to swallow against the lump that’s building in his throat.

“Nothing wrong with us,” he agrees.

“Thank you, Pastor Tomlinson. This really helped a lot,” Elizabeth says just as the bell goes to signal the start of the next church service.

“I’m here whenever you need me,” Louis assures her as she moves to leave, opening the door to reveal a smiling Harry standing there, presumably waiting for Louis.

Once Elizabeth is gone, all there is to focus on is Harry and the way he’s grinning, eyes sparkling with pride.

“What?” Louis asks, prompted by the grin.

“Nothing,” Harry says enigmatically with a shrug of his shoulders but his grin only grows. “The choir is up just after announcements this hour of service and then we can go home if you want to wait for me?”

“Yeah, sure,” Louis agrees. He’s aware quite suddenly that he may be starting to like the word   _ home  _ from Harry’s mouth just a little too much.

*

“You did amazing this morning,” Harry tells him as they eat dinner in front of the television later that night. Louis had cooked after losing a game of Scrabble to Harry. Honestly, he should probably work on his vocabulary because he’s come to realize that he  _ sucks _ at Scrabble.

“Thank you, but I have no idea how you would possibly know that,” Louis glances up from his food to smirk at Harry. Louis suspects that Harry is just trying to validate him, not that he doesn’t appreciate it.

“I’ll have you know that I talked to one of the kids in your class,” Harry says in a playfully haughty tone. “Logan Thompson’s been asking me about the Christmas show the youth ministry puts on for ages. He’s very intent on them doing something more modern than The Christmas Story this year. But I guess that’s your decision now.”

“Why was he asking you about it?” Louis wonders, taking a bite of his modest offering of oven-baked pizza.

“The show is pretty much the same every year, so to keep it interesting, we like to change up the songs. Logan’s been helping me choose them for the past few years. To be honest, I think he’s after my job,” Harry chuckles, obviously fond of the boy.

“That’s lovely,” Louis muses, trying not to look at Harry while he’s smiling like that. It makes his heart tremble and his stomach feel floaty and he’s been seeing that smile all day. He can only take so much. “What did he say about Sunday School?”

Harry turns his head towards him and Louis can’t ignore it when Harry is gazing directly at him like that. “He said you spoke eloquently. And you gave him something to think about.”

Louis breathes deep and looks down at his food, blinking away any wetness in his eyes before it can morph into tears. “I’m glad.”

“I know what you did for Elizabeth, too,” Harry tells him, looking back at the television. Maybe he can tell that Louis can’t handle the scrutiny of his eyes on him. His voice is still full of warmth as he speaks. “Her aunt Patricia came to me and asked if Liam had sent Elizabeth to me for advice. When I didn’t know what she was talking about she told me what had happened.” He pauses to look at Louis purposefully, waiting until Louis meets his eyes to continue on. “She figured since I was gay and out, that Elizabeth might need to someone to talk to about being outed.”

Louis stares. Harry just came out to him. He wants to do the same. Not as any kind of quid pro quo or anything, he doesn’t feel like he  _ owes it _ to Harry. But he wants to be honest. He swallows and looks away to gather his courage. After a moment he takes a breath, and looks back, meeting Harry’s eyes. “Elizabeth was sent to me because I have experience with being outed. I was outed in my hometown.” He clears his throat. It feels a little like each word is fighting not to leave his mouth, digging into his throat with claws to try and stay put. “Um, that’s why I came here. They didn’t want me in the church anymore. They didn’t want me at all, I guess, because everyone started walking the other way when they saw me coming.”

“Oh, Louis,” Harry breathes, his eyes brimming and his usual smile replaced by a hurt-filled frown. “I’m so sorry.”

“It’s okay,” Louis tells him, letting his gaze fall to his food again, too shy just now to say what he wants to say to Harry’s face. “I found a better home anyway.”

Harry doesn’t say anything because, as always, he seems to somehow be aware of how overwhelmed Louis is already feeling. But when Louis glances over he can see the dimple in Harry’s cheek that means he’s smiling.

After they’re done eating, Louis suggests another movie in an effort to stay on the couch past the hour they should probably be heading to bed. Harry gives him what Louis thinks might be a knowing look and he curses himself for possibly being too obvious but Harry doesn’t protest, instead offering Louis the remote to find something on Netflix while he goes to deal with the dishes.

Louis chooses a film called  _ Facing the Giants _ , a Christian production about using faith to conquer fear and prevail over the hurdles in life. It seems fitting for the day he’s had. He waits for Harry to come back and sit next to him before starting it.

He notices about quarter into the movie that Harry is being extra cuddly with him, throwing his arm behind Louis on the couch so that Louis automatically leans into his side, tilting his head to rest on top of Louis’ when it falls onto Harry’s shoulder, covering them with a single blanket to share when Louis says something about it being a little chilly. It’s nice. Louis loves it, if he’s honest, but he doesn’t want Harry feeling responsible for making up for his rejection by an entire town.

“I know what you’re doing,” he says eventually, gingerly removing his head from Harry’s shoulder during a quiet scene in the movie. “But you don’t need to make up for them. Your friendship, I will take, gladly and incredibly gratefully. But you don’t need to feel guilty for what they did in my hometown, Harry. You weren’t a part of that.”

Harry makes a face at him, both endeared and exasperated. “I’m not pitying you, Louis. I hate what happened to you but this  _ is  _ my friendship. I’m just aggressively cuddly with my friends,” he shrugs, looking far too smug.

Louis snorts, though he might actually believe that. “Alright, Curly,” Louis says, tugging on a strand of Harry’s curls before tucking his head back on Harry’s shoulder. “If you say so.”

Harry hums in satisfaction, laying his head back on Louis’. “I know what you’re doing too, you know.”

“What am I doing?” Louis wonders without moving, tendrils of anxiety slowly rising in his belly. Does Harry know about the way Louis’ heart acts all funny in his presence?

“Trying to sleep on my couch instead of taking the bed like I offered,” Harry tells him with a soft chuckle. “You’re the guest, Lou. You should have the bed.”

“I’m not going to put you out like that,” Louis says with a shake of his head, anxiety dissipating once he realizes that, once again, he was just being paranoid.

Harry sighs, shrugging to himself. “I mean, I guess, if you’re comfortable with it, we could share the bed? It’s not like we haven’t been sharing the couch.” Harry laughs again.

“Are  _ you _ comfortable with it?” Louis asks, tilting his head and seeking out Harry’s eyes.

“I wouldn’t have offered if I wasn’t,” Harry tells him, turning back to the movie like it’s no big deal.

Maybe it isn’t.

But it feels like a big deal to Louis when he eventually climbs into Harry’s bed next to him, falling asleep comfortable, warm, and safe.

*

It’s been a couple of weeks and Louis feels like he’s settling in to this place. It’s nice. He hangs out with Harry and Niall (and Liam when he has the time). He talks to his Sunday School class about things that are actually affecting them and it feels like he’s helping them build the foundation for their faith to stand on when they get out in the world on their own.

“Bye, Pastor Tomlinson,” Logan calls with a wave over his shoulder as he weaves around Louis in his rush to the parking lot after church.

“Bye, Logan!” Louis calls with a laugh, feeling like he should probably be warning him to maybe walk as he follows slowly behind. He needs to wait for Harry to finish his director duties for the second service anyway.

Louis nearly runs into someone when he opens the outer door of the church, a middle-aged woman that lights up at the sight of him.

“Pastor Tomlinson?” She asks.

“Yes, that’s right,” he smiles at her, reaching out his hand to shake hers as she introduces herself.

“Patricia Ogden,” she tells him, with a wide grin.

“Oh, Elizabeth’s aunt, right?” Louis asks, pleased to finally be meeting the woman he’s heard so much about.

“Yes! She speaks very highly of you,” Patricia says proudly.

Louis is touched. “I think very highly of her.”

Patricia suddenly moves closer to him, glancing around and lowering her voice. “I hope you don’t mind, she told me about what happened in your last town.” Louis can feel his smile falling a bit but honestly he doesn’t mind Elizabeth informing her aunt, who he’s come to learn is Elizabeth’s guardian, about him when he’s been talking to her about subjects that personally affect her too. He just wasn’t expecting to be confronted with it like this.

“That’s perfectly fine,” he assures the woman. “I hope she does tell you anything she thinks is important.”

“Well, you are just as lovely as she says, aren’t you?” Patricia fusses, appearing seconds away from pinching Louis’ cheek. She steps closer again and Louis takes a small step back, unprepared to handle someone so eager to occupy his personal space. “Now, my  _ son _ is gay. And he is single and looking. I think you’d be just  _ perfect _ for him.”

_ Oh. _ It all makes a little more sense once Patricia is looking at him with hopeful eyes as she tells him all about her son. Louis can’t seem to get a word in edgewise to tell her he’s not sure he’s in the right place, emotionally, to be dating anyone. Minutes pass of Louis pasting on a smile and nodding in all the right places, waiting for the woman to take a breath. He’s honestly astonished with how long she can go without seeming to need one.

Suddenly, the heavens open and the sun shines down on the greatest sight Louis has ever seen coming towards them.

“Hello, Mrs. Ogden,” Harry interrupts them, hugging the woman amiably. “You look wonderful today. Is that a new dress?”

“Oh. Well, yes it is,” she blushes. “How kind of you to notice, Harry.”

“How could I not when you look so gorgeous in it?” Harry grins and Louis bites his lip not to smile idiotically at what a sweetheart Harry is.

“Flatterer,” Patricia jokes, waving her clutch purse at his arm playfully.

“I simply cannot contain myself when such a lovely lady is in my presence.”

“Are you ready to go, Harry?” Louis breaks in, because he’s not sure he can hide his endearment for much longer.

“Ready when you are,” Harry tells him. “Do you want me to pull the car around while you finish up here?”

“Um, sure,” Louis agrees, kind of wishing he could just go with Harry now.

“Alright,” Harry smiles. “It was wonderful to see you again, Patricia,” he says, shaking the woman’s hand before leaving them to their conversation.

“I’m sorry, Mrs. Ogden,” Louis starts, fully planning to tell her everything he hasn’t been able to say since she started trying to sell her son as the ideal boyfriend.

“Say no more, dear,” she tells him, pressing a hand to his arm. “I should have known someone as handsome as you would already be taken.”

“I’m—”

“And I hate to say it, but  _ Lord knows _ my son can’t compete with that one,” She continues before Louis can correct her, watching fondly as Harry pulls the car up next to where they’re standing.

Louis  _ should _ correct her. But the words won’t leave his mouth as he watches with her. “He is pretty special, isn’t he?” It’s nice being able to commiserate with someone, even if it is under false pretenses.

“That he is,” she says, patting his arm. “Well, I’m sorry for bothering you. You two have a good afternoon, hun.”

“You too,” Louis calls as she walks away. Shaking his head in amazement, he moves to the car and climbs inside.

“That looked like a nice conversation,” Harry comments as he pulls out of the church parking lot. “Was she talking to you about Elizabeth?”

“No, actually. She was trying to set me up with her son,” Louis answers, voice still edged with disbelief.

A snort from Harry’s side of the car pulls Louis out of his dazed thoughts and he turns his head to see Harry laughing, bent over the steering wheel a little.

“What’s so funny about that?” Louis asks, arching an eyebrow. He can already feel the smile teasing at his lips so he knows it’s not having the effect he wants when Harry turns to look at him.

“No,” Harry huffs out, still laughing. “It’s not you, Louis. It’s just, Patricia is merciless about trying to get her son into a relationship and married. She’s probably tried to set him up with every gay man in the city by now.”

“Oh,” Louis isn’t sure if he should be relieved about her motivation or disappointed that apparently he’s not all that special. He thinks he’s going to go with relieved.

“So,” Harry starts seriously, after he’s had a minute to catch his breath. Louis notices something odd about his tone but can’t place what it is. “Do you have a date with him?”

“No,” Louis replies, cheeks flushing when he remembers the reason. “She, uh, she got the impression that I was seeing someone already so she left.”

Harry’s forehead creases in curiosity. “Are you?” He asks.

“No,” Louis answers again, looking out the window. Honestly, he’d probably be a  _ mess _ in a relationship right now. And there’s really only one person he can think of that he’d be willing to try it for.

Harry hums in confusion. “Wonder where she got  _ that _ impression.”

Louis doesn’t say anything, just staring at Harry apologetically until Harry notices. He looks puzzled for a moment before it registers.

“What,  _ me _ ?” He asks, surprised at the information. But then he must be going over those few minutes he was with them in his thoughts because it’s not long before he’s groaning at himself. “Oh my goodness. I’m so sorry, Louis, I didn’t mean to make her think that.”

“It’s okay,” Louis shrugs. “I’m sort of glad actually. I couldn’t really find a way to tell her that I don’t think I’m ready yet anyway.”

“Well, I’m glad to be of service,” Harry tells him with a grin while keeping his eyes on the road. “I mean, we’ll have to correct her eventually but—”

“Actually,” Louis breaks in nervously, certain that Harry isn’t going to go for this but feeling a desperate urge to ask anyway. “Do you think we could hold off on that? Just for a bit? I just, am not sure I could handle it if she asked again, knowing that I’m single.”

Harry turns to look at Louis briefly, eyes sweeping over his face before he turns back to peer at the road, biting his bottom lip as he considers what Louis is asking. “Just for Mrs. Ogden?” He asks tentatively.

“Yes,” Louis confirms. That’s really all he needs. “Please, Harry?”

“Okay, Louis,” Harry agrees with a sigh. He’s quiet for the rest of the ride home and Louis has no idea what’s going on in his mind.

 

*

 

“Excuse me, Harry?” Louis says, knocking lightly as he sticks his head around the doorframe in Harry’s office. “Are you busy?”

The Wednesday night youth group class has just ended and, luckily, Harry has choir practice at the same time.

“Not at all, Lou. Come on in,” Harry says with a pleased grin, tucking some papers into a folder in his filing cabinet and closing it. “I was just putting away the sheet music from choir practice. What can I do for you?”

“Actually,” Louis hesitates, looking at something outside the office. “It’s not me who needs you.” He pauses to wave someone else into the room, a tiny, coaxing gesture. “Come on,” he encourages gently while Harry watches with open curiosity.

Eventually, a young girl, maybe sixteen steps into the room. She’s hunched in on herself and looking at the floor but Harry brightens when he sees her.

“Jacky,” he greets sincerely, persuading the girl to raise her eyes to him. Her lips slope into a tiny smile and she raises one hand to give a shy wave. When it’s clear she isn’t keen to speak, Louis steps forward to do it for her.

“Jacky would like to audition to join the choir,” he says, glancing at her. He’s proud of her for actually coming this far, not letting her shyness stop her from approaching what she wants. It doesn’t even matter that she hasn’t actually spoken yet, she’s  _ here _ and that’s a giant step forward.

“That’s amazing, Jacky,” Harry says, words full of excitement. “You know what, I bet the sanctuary has emptied out by now. Let’s go there for this, the acoustics are amazing.”

Personally, Louis thinks knowing that his voice would carry would make him feel less inclined to audition if he were as quiet as Jacky is. Maybe it’s different when you have a passion for it though, because Jacky nods quickly, eagerness making her stand a little taller as she follows Harry out of his office on swift feet.

“Here you are,” Harry says, leading her to the podium Liam usually stands at during services. He gestures for her to stand behind it and she takes her place. Louis already can’t believe his eyes as how different she looks standing there, waiting for her cue. She’s  _ ready _ .

Louis glances behind them, at the main doors to the sanctuary standing open. There are people milling about in the lobby, just chatting or waiting for rides. Jacky doesn’t seem to notice as Harry asks her if she wants accompaniment. She shakes her head, the only sign of nervousness now is the way shes wringing her hands in front of her.

Harry steps back, moving to join Louis where he stands in front of the first pew. “Whenever you’re ready, Jacky. Blow me away!” He calls, fanning his arms dramatically, as if to show an explosion.

Jacky giggles behind a hand and Louis shakes his head with fondness at Harry’s theatricality. Harry just winks over exaggeratedly and gives her a thumbs up.

Jacky takes a breath, straightening her stance with a smile. Louis didn’t know what to expect when she’d asked him to go with her to talk to Harry about this but she looks comfortable up there, like an angel ready to sing God’s praises.

“ _ Come, just as you are _ ,” she sings, her voice soft but beautiful, carrying to their ears easily in the empty room. “ _ Hear the spirit call _ .”

Jacky closes her eyes as she sings and maybe she forgets that they’re there, because she lets go of herself and lets the Spirit move her. Her voice grows louder, more confident, and Louis’ throat gets tight when it’s clear that she feels what she’s singing with an absolute passion.

A muffled sound at the back of the room as Harry and Louis both turning to look, and what Louis sees, has him turning to Harry with an awed smile on his face.

Everyone who was out in the lobby has come to listen to Jacky’s song, some moved to tears.

Harry grins back at Louis, his own eyes wet and full, mouthing a ‘thank you’ like Louis is somehow responsible. He reaches out and squeezes Louis’ arm in pride or enthusiasm or, maybe, gratitude. Louis isn’t sure which, but everything about the moment makes his heart full and his faith feel unshakable.

When Jacky opens her eyes at the end of her song, she’s greeted by wild applause and more faces than she was expecting. She appears shocked, her cheeks blushing but it seems she’s more pleased than dismayed at her audience.

Harry rushes to hug the girl, thanking her for her song. She cries when he tells her that she’ll be a welcomed addition to the choir and that he’ll see her on Sunday morning.

She hugs Harry back excitedly and tells him something quietly that Louis can’t hear. And then she moves to hug Louis’ neck too.

“I knew you could do it,” he tells her. She squeezes him a bit tighter, leaving him with a beatific smile when her mother appears to pick her up.

“So, um,” Harry says, walking up to stand next to Louis as he watches her leave, people stopping her to give her compliments on the way. “Jacky asked me to thank you for giving her the courage to audition. She said she didn’t think she had the words to do it herself.”

“I didn’t do much,” Louis smiles after her.

“You did, though.” Harry’s hand brushes the back of Louis’ and he turns to see Harry already looking at him. He’s looking at Louis like he’s  _ worth something _ . “You did something incredible tonight, Louis. You gave that girl her voice.”

“I think that was you, actually,” Louis tells him. He thinks he might be gazing at Harry the same way.

“Okay, fine. We’ll compromise and say we make a great team,” Harry chuckles.

“Get it, Mr. Styles!” Someone from the back of the room, likely one of Louis’ youth ministry kids, shouts jokingly, breaking the intensity of the moment.

Both men turn and look to find all eyes on them and it’s clear from the smiles on some of those faces that they think something is going on between Louis and their musical director.

Louis turns back to Harry, eyes meeting in a look of apprehension. Seems like they’ve just made fuel for the rumor mill. 

  
  


*

 

Louis walks slowly down the cereal aisle, pushing a shopping cart in front of him. He picks up a box of Special K, making a face at it before he tosses it in the cart. He grabs another box, this time Cinnamon Toast Crunch and tosses it in too, this time with a smile.

“I saw you making a face at my cereal,” Harry pouts playfully as he joins Louis, setting produce bags full of green beans and carrots in the cart. There’s a big Thanksgiving meal coming up at the church and Harry is cooking half of the food for it. Louis is already salivating.

“You should eat better cereal,” Louis jokes back.

“You should be happy that I don’t eat what you like,” Harry informs him, placing a hand on the small of his back momentarily to indicate that they should move on. “More for you.”

“Doesn’t mean I have to like seeing it in the cupboard,” Louis mutters, laughing when Harry nudges him as they walk to the next aisle.

Honestly, Louis feels so lucky. His apartment should have been ready two weeks ago but apparently, it’s not done ‘airing out’. When they heard the news, Harry had just smiled at Louis and reminded him that he was welcome to stay for as long as he liked. Louis wonders if forever is an okay choice. He would miss their movie watching cuddle sessions too much. And going to bed next to Harry, waking up with their limbs tangled and Harry’s breath on his neck. Louis doesn’t really want to give that up.

“What’s next on the list?” Louis checks over the grocery list Harry’s pulled from his pocket, searching for the first item that isn’t crossed off.  He needs a distraction from his feelings, from the knowledge that he has entirely too many unsolicited thoughts about how when he’s with Harry, it almost feels like a real relationship. And Patricia Ogden isn’t helping things. Lately, every time Louis turns around, there Patricia is wanting to talk about Elizabeth or ask Harry something about choir. They’ve been holding hands as they leave church quite a bit lately. Not that Louis minds.

“White wine,” Harry answers, giving Louis the distraction from his thoughts that he needs. “For that garlic chicken I’m making for dinner tonight.”

Louis sighs. “Are you sure I can’t make something for dinner? You’re doing all this cooking for the meal at church on Thursday. You don’t need to do so much, Harry. Let me help.”

“Thank you, Louis, but it’s no trouble. I  _ like _ cooking,” Harry tells him, seeming endeared. He puts his hand over Louis’ on the cart handle and they walk side by side, comfortable in their silence. Though, Louis may or may not be planning a better argument for Harry to let him help.

“Well, look at you two,” Patricia’s voice floats up behind them and both men twist to acknowledge her. “Aren’t you so cute?”

“Hello, Patricia,” Harry hugs her. “Are you preparing for Thursday?”

“I am,” she confesses. “The women’s ministry is working on the dessert table.”

“Sounds delicious,” Louis hums.

“I hope so!” She laughs, clutching at her heart. “Well, I won’t bother you. The other girls are waiting on me. I just wanted to come and say hello.”

Louis looks towards the end of the aisle and, sure enough, every woman in the women’s ministry is standing down there, staring at him and Harry. Some of them are already whispering to each other and Louis remembers when that would have caused a knot of anxiety to form in his stomach. He still gets the flashes that remind him of being outed, the way people stopped talking  _ to _ him and started whispering  _ about _ him. But he knows this is different. These woman aren’t whispering about his  _ perversions _ , they’re smiling. They accept him, in fact they’re probably rooting for him.

Is it wrong that Louis wishes there was something real for them to root for?

 

*

 

Food of all kinds is laid out on several long tables around the reception building. Made up tables fill the room, and several hundred people mill about, getting their food or chatting to their fellow church-goers. Louis watches it all with pride. This is his church. These are his people. Liam, Harry, and Niall sit at Louis’ table regaling Louis with tales of past Thanksgivings and he realizes that this is his  _ family _ .

Louis’ mom and siblings couldn’t come. They couldn’t afford to make the trip to Louis and, honestly, Louis wasn’t willing to go back to the town that did it’s best to tear him apart.

He’s not in pieces anymore. Not with his  _ found _ family there to put him back together, to hold him until he feels steady and whole again.

“So,” Niall’s starts up during a lull in the conversation, eyes flicking between Harry and Louis. “I heard a funny rumor when I was getting my turkey.”

“Niall, you know how I feel about rumors,” Liam scolds distractedly as he glances around to make sure everything with the dinner is running smoothly. He hops up from his seat suddenly. “Sorry, fellas, I think I’m needed at the dessert table,” he says excusing himself.

Niall waves Liam off, ignoring his departure and pointing at Harry with his plastic fork. “Are you and Louis dating?”

Harry coughs, choking on his dinner roll.

Louis rubs Harry’s back filled with concern until he stops coughing and is able to swallow some water.

“You okay?” Louis checks.

“Yeah,” Harry says, clearing his throat and asking with his eyes what they’re supposed to say to Niall’s question.

“You are, aren’t you?” Niall doesn’t actually seem to be asking. He’s already shaking his head and standing from the table. “You could have told me,” he says, sounding genuinely hurt by the omission. “I’m gonna go see what’s holding up the dessert table.

Harry watches Niall go with a sad expression. “We’re lying to everyone now, Louis,” he sighs, running a hand through his curls. “I don’t like it.”

Louis nods. He agrees. Seeing how hurt Niall was didn’t exactly feel good. “I know, Harry. I’m sorry. I’ll go tell Niall the truth.” Louis promises, standing from the table. “I’ll tell everyone the truth. I’m sorry I dragged you into this.” He moves to walk away but Harry catches his hand, a gentle hold, thumb brushing over his knuckles like Harry is fond of doing. The action stills Louis immediately.

“Or,” Harry pauses thoughtfully. “We could just…  _ not _ lie about it.”

Louis’ face scrunches in incomprehension, “I mean, I said I’d tell—“ He’s stopped again as Harry stands up next to him, pulling him close by the hand he has yet to release.

“That’s… not what I meant,” Harry tells him slowly, moving his free hand to the small of Louis’ back to urge him even closer. He bites his lip, waiting for a reaction.

“ _ Oh _ ,” Louis breathes. At least, he thinks he does. He’s not actually sure he is breathing right now.

Harry looks down at the hand he’s holding so that Louis can’t slip away from him, he holds it delicately in his own, softly stroking his thumb over Louis’ skin. “Tell me if I’m wrong about this, Louis. Tell me you’re not feeling what I’m feeling and we can pretend this never happened.” He raises his gaze to Louis’.  “Or tell me you do feel the same and my heart, my apartment, my  _ everything _ is yours. For as long as you want it.”

Louis takes a shaky breath. Oh, look. He  _ is _ breathing. “I do, Harry. I do feel the same.”

Harry tilts his head back, eyes closed, and whispers a “thank you” to the heavens. And then he’s beaming at Louis, moving in to kiss his cheek, and the corner of his mouth. And when Louis turns his head to slot their lips together, he goes with it. For a moment, they forget they’re in a room filled with people. For a moment, it doesn’t matter.

Louis smiles when he pulls away, wrapping his arms around Harry’s neck and burying his face in Harry’s chest, letting himself be caught in the loving confines of Harry’s arms. He can hear Harry’s heart beat against his ear, and every beat sounds to Louis like love and thanks and  _ yours _ . Louis wonders if his heart would sound the same to Harry. It should.

Niall is overjoyed to be the first one told Harry and Louis are together when they  _ actually are _ . Liam congratulates them with a wide smile when they tell him second. And everyone else, well if they haven't figured it out by now, they will soon enough.

It turns out to be a perfect day for giving thanks to God. So they do. And then continue to do so, together, every day after.

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading this. If you got this far, I really hope it was worth the journey.
> 
> The bullying speech was inspired by [this video](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j3IdpjUr4JA).
> 
> Aaaand the fic post is [here](http://suddenclarityharry.tumblr.com/post/166829807467/well-rise-up-by-fallinglikethis) if you wanna reblog it for me.


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